Feeling Abandoned!!

    We all have been through phases were we all have felt abandoned, rejected or unloved. It’s the strongest of all the wounds we tend to feel; recollecting the exact situations we have been through, and the pain can be felt the exact same even after ages. Wondering on the same topic I realised that there are layers and layers to this feeling. We tend to write our victim stories and build our self image around the feeling of abandonment. We don’t even realise how and when these wounds become our identity we start defining ourselves with the stories we carry of our hurt, pain, the rejection we felt while seeking for acceptance. 

   Initially the healing starts with the realisation that comes after someone made us feel abandoned, at times by disrespecting us or rejecting us. Working on the wound of rejection starts when we learn to accept the feeling rather than rationalising with it. This is when we learn about our stories the stories we have lived for so many years. Over the years we have been taught how we have to constantly seek acceptance from other to validate our existence; how we have to please all those who are close to us to keep them in our lives so they shouldn’t leave us someday for being our authentic self. These stories of seeking acceptance becomes our new story and that is when we first learn to abandon ourselves even before facing the rejection from the outside. We are taught to please so everyone says we are good instead of accepting  the goodness we already have within us we are taught to seek validation for it from the outside world; this is when the cycle begins. The scars of these feelings go deeper than we realise. At times we also start playing the role were we tend to reject the authenticity of our loved ones and  accepting them the way they are with no expectations in return from them. We tend to forget that abandoning someone isn’t always rejecting them it also means being disrespectful, judgemental, being harsh, labelling others, making them feel little, rejecting someone’s feelings, controlling how someone is supposed to respond..etc. 

    The second phase of healing this wound comes in when we start to acknowledge and accept every ounce of ourselves and not rejecting or judging how we are supposed to feel and think. It’s important to realise that we tend to abandon ourselves more often than we think. At times we reject ourselves because we fear that other’s around us would reject our feelings and perceptions. We tend to change or suppress our authentic self when we see our thoughts and feelings aren’t being reciprocated. If something isn’t reciprocated doesn’t mean what we as an individual are feeling isn’t true for us. It’s important to own who we are, it’s important to accept how we feel about something or someone irrespective of what the other person is feeling towards us. It’s important to hold our authentic self which always wants to feel this sweetness and goodness of our own emotions. When we learn to choose and be love towards ourselves and everyone around us we realise that we feel good by choosing this feeling no matter towards whom it is directed. Others might either choose to either love us back or they won’t and we can feel this feeling of acceptance and love towards them anyways. Maybe that’s when we tend to acknowledge and hold space for our feelings no matter what the are; if we feel they aren’t serving us we can still own them and surrender them to the universe and when feeling something makes us feel pleasant hold space for them as well. Own everything that is you maybe that’s how we’ll eventually accept that our true nature is love.

   It’s important to be you. There is no you in this world and there won’t be another you in this world. Let’s learn to accept the uniqueness of everyone it’s easy to judge and label and abandon ourselves or others around us but it take a lot of openness, compassion and authenticity to accept others the way they are. It’s take a lot of strength to see goodness beyond a person’s stories. Let’s learn to heal our wounds so we stop scaring others around us. It’s important to understand that everything we choose consciously or out of ignorance is our responsibility the way we act, speak and think. Let’s choose to be authentic in our intentions towards each other for that is the only way ahead. It’s easy to fall in love with life and everyone who is a part of that life by being our truest self.

Love and light to all.